Psalm 30:6
At the start of September, God led me to realise I might have turned stewardship into an idol.
I've spent my entire career in this industry telling people to be good stewards of their money. I believe, and still do, that we need to be responsible with what we have been given.
But lately, I'd had this nagging feeling; this gnawing discontent that I couldn't quite place.
One evening, I opened the Bible app, and the verse of the day was Psalm 30:6. It was as though God was waiting for me at the table.
"When I felt secure, I said, 'I will never be shaken.' Lord, when you favored me, you made my royal mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed." — Psalm 30:6–7
I've always said we plan our finances to honour God with what He has given us. I have never claimed to make my clients rich; I preach planning as part of our responsibility to the gift, and to the Giver. But somewhere along the way, I over-weighted my planning and under-weighted the One who gave me the life to plan.
My stewardship was born out of faith. It then started masquerading as faith, and it became my faith. And I was blind to the development.
I found peace in my plan more than in the Prince of Peace. I loved the gift more than the Giver. I put my confidence in the asset, not the Almighty.
Here is the part that unsettles me most. I did not see my wealth as evidence that God would take care of me. I started to see my wealth as evidence that I would be okay, with or without God. Same security, pointed at the wrong source.
The plan itself never changed. Same approach. Same discipline. Same prudence I would still recommend to any client. A faithful plan and a plan I have quietly made into a god, looks identical from the outside. The only difference is where my faith actually rests. And I could not tell you which one I was doing just by looking at the spreadsheet.
This sits badly in me. I don't have it resolved. There is no happy ending here, no tidy statement of faith to close on. It is just life — messy, and uncertain.
I'm only noticing, honestly, that I trusted my plans. And that as a Christian, I am having to learn again to trust the Lord of my life.
I write on topics related to financial habits and decisions. Do explore my other articles at https://www.williamseah.com/blog if the ideas resonate. Drop me an email at reach.william@gmail.com or text me at 9673 1523 if you'd like to chat over coffee or whisky.
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